How?

I've been home a few days now and there is always that one question "How was Africa?". How do you squeeze three countries into one answer. How do I explain the people I've met, the children I've fallen in love with, the pain of leaving them behind? How do I explain the adventures I've gone on with amazing life long friends from all over the world?

 I don't think there are words to describe it. The only way I know how to share the amazing, life-changing journey I've been on over the past three years is to show you through my lens (or the lens of a friend). If you have ten spare minutes to watch I'm sure you will at least enjoy the adorable children! Thank you everyone for all of your prayers and support over my journey. I am forever grateful. Click the link below.

Through the camera lens

Perfect

Ten fingers and ten toes. It makes you think of babies and the epitome of perfection, no? Of course it does, but I had a moment tonight when I reevaluated this thought.

I'm working night shifts this weekend and usually at some point during the night one of the patients can't sleep and joins you in whatever you are doing to entertain yourself. Tonight that patient was a three year old with congenital deformities to his hand and abdomen. I heard him whimpering so I went and picked him up and carried him and his huge IV pole back to the desk where I was watching a movie. Together we watched Monster University (if you know me, you know that yes I was watching a kid's movie before I picked up a small child!). He was pretty chill, not cracking a smile or laugh the whole entire time.

At the end of the movie he was still wide awake so we decided on a double feature with the next movie being Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Towards the end his head was bobbing and I knew it wouldn't be long. Gently he placed his hand on my hand and fell asleep. I just sat there staring at his tiny brown hand on my larger white hand, I was overcome. I slowly closed my eyes and soaked up the moment, thanking God for another amazing memory. It was in the that moment that I realized that this little boy is perfect, even if he does not have what the world considers perfection. Often at home or even here on the streets we see people who look different and automatically assume, "That's weird." But looking at this beautiful child all I could think was how God saw him, perfect just the way God formed him.

As I prepare to leave the ship in the coming weeks, moments like this make me appreciate where God has led me. From a small town girl with no world knowledge and honestly a pretty judgemental attitude about people different than me to this. I think I like this new and improved outlook. Perfect moments come in all shapes and sizes. I'm going to cherish and soak up every one I get in the time I have left.

I called you out upon the waters

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise my soul will rest in your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and you won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

 

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong.

After listening to a friend sing this song in a worship service recently I realized that this song is my daily life! Is this not what God has been doing over the past three years to test my faith? Kari, will you step out of the boat ... to the unknown? I think the line that hit me the most was "you've never failed me and you won't start now". I started to reminisce on the fact that God has orchestrated my every step and will continue to in the future. Then it hit me, he orchestrates the steps of every single person I come in contact with. A face immediately came to mind. The face of a beautiful young woman named Angelique.

Angelique definitely hasn't had it easy. Over the past several years she has had a tumor on her face that has been slowly killing her bit by bit. She lost weight and became severely malnourished. I first met Angelique, many months ago, when I stopped by D ward looking for a supply and a little boy was running like a wild man around the ward. I later found out that he belonged to the tiny lady in a bed to my left. The tiny lady that covers her face with a cloth, barely (if even) sixty-five pounds, she knows ... you can see it in her eyes, without our help she will die.

The plan was to keep Angelique in the hospital for a matter of time and "fatten her up" with nutritional supplements and a lot of love. But it just wasn't working fast enough, the tumor was going to suffocate her before she was at a healthy weight. The decision was made to go ahead with the surgery and pray for the best.

 

The Lord nurses them when they are sick and restores them to health.

- Psalm 41:3

 

She survived the surgery but was not out of the woods yet. Because of her malnutrition her wounds had a very hard time healing. It took several months of continued nutrition, antibiotics, wound care and of course a lot of love/encouragement before she started to turn a corner.

 

After her first surgery.

 

First look at the new face.

 

 

My friend Amy (featured in the photo above) told me about one particular moment that really touched my heart. Amy and Angelique were sitting on the deck getting some fresh air and Angelique started giggling. She would bounce her leg then giggle. Amy suddenly realized what was so funny. For the first time, in a very long time, Angelique had a little jiggle in her leg when she bounced it. Over and over she would bounce and giggle. I wasn't there, but I can only imagine how adorable this interaction was. All over the world women worry about a little extra jiggle here or there but here, nope it's cause for celebration! Another need for celebration ... new hair! One of my favorite things to do when I see Angelique is play with her new hair. Because she now has nutrition she has new super soft, beautiful curly hair. She giggles whenever I rub her head, which in turn of course makes me giggle. Yep, it's pretty adorable.

 

I'm not the only one that loves her new hair.

 

Back to the point, the other day when I was singing those beautiful Hillsong lyrics and had the thought of Angelique it also came with a word. Pray! Like right now ... with her. To say this is something new for me is an understatement. God was calling me out upon the waters, the great unknown. Pray for Angelique, pray for healing from a tumor that will return and claim her life. Yes, we were able to remove most of the tumor this time, but it was just buying time for her to spend with her two babies. It will return and will most likely take her life. So what did I do? I walked down the stairs to the ward of course. Do you know how bad it feels in your gut to hear God tell you to do something and not do it. Cest par bon (it's not good)! Immediately when I walked in we saw each other, she smiled and said "Bonjour!". I asked if I could pray for her, she enthusiastically nodded her head and immediately closed her eyes. This made me giggle a little, okay then here we go. It was a simple prayer just asking God to heal her and send her back home to her family whole and healthy. I opened my eyes before saying Amen and she looked so peaceful and beautiful. I said Amen and she immediately enveloped me in her arms and said "Merci". Yep, I could have cried right there. I spent a few more moments with her and then left her to get some rest.

 

Yesterday I attended the church service in the wards. As soon as I walked in I spotted her, but she looked different. No more NG tube to drip nutrients into her stomach, no more bandages, as I looked at her I was taken aback by how beautiful and "normal" she looked. Her cheeks have filled about a bit and there is an always present sparkle in her eyes now. She may not have physical healing yet, but through this whole process I can tell you that she definitely received emotional healing, she will go home whole and alive to care for her children.

 

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters"

Will you join me in trusting that God can completely heal Angelique physically?

 





The smile in her eyes

I'm sorry I haven't shared more patient stories lately, but you get so wrapped up in taking care of the same long term patients and forget to share the special moments sometimes. Today I had a really special day (besides the fact that it is my birthday). I want to share the story of one of my favorite girl. Her name is Benjamine, she is thirteen years old. Much like a patient I took care of in Guinea (Tia's story) , she sustained burns to her upper chest and both arms. Because of the burns and not having the medical care she needed Benjamine had contractures (or tight scar tissue) to her neck, elbows and axilla. I remember seeing her on the first day of plastics. It was before her surgery and though she is one of those cases that most people can't bear to see there was a smile in her eyes and an infectious laugh that I just couldn't resist.

Before surgery

 After surgery she was placed on the Plastics ward, and being that I am on the General ward I didn't see her as much. But I do know this, she had a hard time post-operatively. Alot of pain and complications. After weeks of care from the amazing plastics team, she was able to get up, walk and even go outside for the first time. Little by little she was improving.

 

Over the past three months we have begun to see her home out of her shell even more. One of her favorite activities these days is trying to tickle me or hiding behind a door and jumping out to try to scare me. She is also trying to teach me the words of the song Frere Jacques ... in French and her language of Lingala. Though I did learn this song once upon a time, in kindergarten, I have forgotten it and most likely did not pronuciate it correctly. She thinks it is hilarious to hear me murder the French and Lingala.

 

 A few weeks ago I was walking down the stairs from the dining room back to the ward and I heard a little voice. The little voice said my name, I looked down and sitting at the bottom of the stairs was Benjamine. To hear a patient say your name for the first time is one of the sweetest things, especially if they did not talk for a very long time. This evening I sat with Benjamine outside on the deck, just soaking in a little sunshine and fresh air. One of the other nurses whispered something in her ear and then she gave me my very best birthday present. It all started while we were having a thumb war, there just happened to be a videographer near by to capture it! One, two, three, four I declare a thumb war..

Random Acts of Kindness

I'm sure you have all heard of random acts of kindness. Maybe you paid for the car behind you in the drive through or left a big tip at a restaurant. But I've always been on the giving side. Today I've been overwhelmed with the kindness of others. It started with a large amount of extra money being in my bank account that I had no idea was there. You see anonymously over the past months fellow crew members have been putting money in there and never telling me. Yeah, I know some pretty awesome people.
Just now, as I was baking some granola, I came across this website featured on Pinterest .Faith in Humanity Restored. Needless to say my already tenderized heart was sincerely touched. My birthday is tomorrow and I have a favor to ask you. For my birthday will you be kind to someone, buy them a coffee, write them a unexpected note of encouragement or give them a hug. Thanks!!

Whatever.

Today has been an amazing day filled with quiet time at the beach and Godly council from a pair women (who just happen to Georgian) that I really admire. After all of this I really didn't feel like I could sit in the usual Sunday night church service so I decided to go upstairs to the top deck of the ship and just let things marinate in my head for a while.

In a little over two months from now I will be leaving the Africa Mercy and traveling home to Georgia to start over. I have no attachments to anywhere in particular and looking forward to a brand new adventure. Because of this I thought I should maybe pray about the future, quite unexpectedly the first words out of my mouth ... "Lord ... Whatever." Whoa! Wait? What? Whatever!? That's some scary crap right there! Whatever the Lord wants to do with me, that's okay? I had to check myself a little there. Okay, okay I had to check myself a lot. Do you really mean what you say? Because I have a sneaking suspicion it might be a crazy/wild adventure. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry not only because it is totally unknown, but because I know God has a big plan for me. I mean seriously he sent this little country girl all the way to Africa ... Three times!

{Deep breath} Okay, yes, if I want to be a completely abandoned follower of Jesus the answer has to be "Yes " ... whatever/wherever/whenever/whoever. I have absolutely no idea what I am signing up for here, but no one does I guess. Saying yes to Jesus is all or nothing. Completely abandoned to you! You have paved the way. Prepare for lift-off this is going to be a crazy ride! Will this be 100% without confusion, doubts or even possible heartache. No, life never is. Please Lord forgive my misgivings, you know my heart. Where you lead I will follow.

I don't want you to misunderstand this, does it make me an awesome Christian because I'm saying yes to God. Am I looking for applause or praise. No, I'm most definitely not a perfect person or anywhere near it. I'm a terrible sinner who Jesus was gracious enough to die for my sins. You could say yes as well. So I have a one word challenge for your ... Whatever?

Then I heard The Lord asking, "Whom shall I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?" I said, "Here I am. Send me." 

- Isaiah 6:8

All You Need is Love ...

Or so the song says. There is a little boy on my ward that has an un-curable disease. He is doing great and it won't kill him today or tomorrow, but the odds are against him. Simply because he doesn't live in a first world country. Because of this I've found myself giving him extra attention lately. Playing games with him, holding him when he hurts or dancing around to make him laugh. He really likes to simply sit and just spend time with me. For some reason I'm quite popular with little boys, if only I was as popular with boys my own age ;) Throughout my shift as a charge nurse there is bound to be at least one little boy sitting beside me. Sometimes coloring or sometimes playing with a balloon (aka chewing on it, which they know is a no, no).

 As I lay in my bed all I can think about is how excited I am to go spend time with the boys tomorrow at "work". I am blessed to love on kids that maybe don't feel healthy or perhaps even worthy of love. A little expression of love can make all the difference in the world. A smile, a greeting, holding their hand, a hug, a back rub, or just simply sitting together not saying a word can move mountains. I can't even count how many times a patient has simply sat beside me and just put a hand on my shoulder or arm just to know I am right there beside them. Walking with them along their journey. I am so blessed to be a part of that journey, thank you for helping me along the way through prayers and support. Give love abundantly today, you don't have to be in Africa to make a difference!!

Goodbyes Suck!

My time here head been filled with goodbyes and some are harder than others. To spend time with amazing individuals and then to have to say bye for who knows how long. It sucks! Today was a really hard goodbye.
Today (like literally five minutes ago) I said goodbye to the little girl who has stolen my heart this outreach. You may remember Alice from a previous post named What is Beauty? Today she prepares to fly back to Uganda with a new ear and a non-infected eye. All morning I had been looking out the ship window down to the dock where the patients sit under a tent waiting for appointments. Finally after peeking through the window at least ten times, I saw her. Sitting in her blue dress beside her papa. I took a deep breath trying to prepare myself for the goodbye to come. As I made my way down the gangway and across the dock to the tent she saw me. Immediately she ran over and gave me a hug while saying my name over and over. I told her I needed to say goodbye and that I am sad. She told me "Kari, no cry" ... If only it was that easy. She repeatedly lifted my glasses to make sure I wasn't crying. I was able to not cry while I spoke to her about going home and then I prayed for her. Prayers that she would easily transition back to home in her little village in Uganda and that the confidence she found here would never cease to get her through the day. As I said a final goodbye, hugged her so tight and kissed her head I started to tear up. I so wanted to stay right there on the dock and hold her/protect her from the hurts of the world. Will others make fun of her, will she be okay? I have to trust that God is holding her in the palm of His hand and her every step is directed by Him. Goodbye Alice, I love you.

Tonight I had one of those heart-warming moments that makes it all worth it. There is a little girl in the hospital right now that pretty much everyone on the ship knows. Her name is Ravette and she is the most joyful little girl I have ever encountered. Her laugh and sweet little voice are infectious. You can't be grumpy when she is around. She is one of the orthopedic patients that is on the ward for a complication. Tonight I was training another nurse to be in charge and she is more than competent at the job, so I had ample time on my hands to interact with the patients. I decided Ravette and I would go on a walk. Ravette has an interesting gait, she has a cast on one leg and her other knee doesn't bend very well so it's kind of like a leg swinging shuffle. Off we go down the hall, back and forth. Soon she starts singing a little song full of cute little noises with each step. Can I just say this little girl is a-dor-able! So as you can imagine my heart is already full of joy and I am smiling just because she makes me so happy. Then we approach a room at the end of the hall. This room is where the patients go for complex dressing or cast changes. She walks up to the door and peeks inside. Slowly she looks over her shoulder at me and enters the room. Slow swinging step at a time, I thought she was looking for someone. Then she looks around the corner, turns around and runs into my legs wrapping her arms around me crying. After doing my own little shuffle (since there is a child wrapped around my legs) to look around the corner. I suddenly realize she is scared because around that corner is the bed she has to lay on to have her cast changed. In that moment there was no where in the world I would have rather been. No where but in that scary dressing room, comforting sweet Ravette. This is why I love my job!

Before surgery.

After surgery ... She now only has one cast.

Prayer Request

When I decided to return for this field service I knew that money would be tight. Like really tight. Over the past the six months I have been trusting God that he would provide and he hasn't let me down. It has come from an unexpected place. I have had more support from fellow crew members than anyone else. Little notes on my door with an extra $20 tucked in or just offering to buy me a meal. As I look to the next five months, I'll be honest ... I'm stressing a little. I have money to pay for the next three months of crew fees and that's it. This doesn't include a plane ticket home. The total would be about $2500 + plane ticket which could be as high as an additional two thousand. Since I am volunteering here and paying for room/board, I have no income. One day at a time I am having to remind myself that He is faithful and the he has an amazing plan. I just wanted to ask for prayer, pray that I will remain faithful and no matter what is plan is I will be content. If you feel led to donate to helping me stay here on the ship follow this link: mercyships-us.donorpages.com/crewmates/

Please let me know if there is anything I can pray for you. :)

Looking back

As a new year begins I can't help but to look back at the year passed. Two thousand and thirteen ... Twenty eight years since I was born ... Ten years since high school ... Six years since I received my nursing license ... Looking back there have been a lot of memories. But the thing that stands out the most for this year? This whole entire year has been devoted to serving with Mercy Ships.

My last official full-time job workday was 1 January. I'm in awe that God chose me to give this huge mission and that He knows and loves me so much that He fulfilled an unrealized dream in me. To help those less fortunate than myself through my profession. To love the unloved, to bring joy to the depressed by letting Jesus shine through me. I am blessed to be able to love on the people of Congo, even if it is just by holding their hand or sharing a smile. Jesus tells us to love the least of these.
 

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

- Matthew 25:40

I am so excited about what this new year holds. I will be continuing my volunteer work with Mercy Ships for the next five months and then I am trusting in God's unrevealed plan for my life. I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for helping me to be a volunteer with Mercy Ships. And thank you for loving me and being earthly examples of Jesus' love. I hope your new year is filled with God's abundant love and I challenge you to share that love with others. Reevaluate what is love to you? You never know when you could make a difference with just a smile!!

I also wanted to share a video of some of the people I love explaining what love is to them.

 

Reason

There is a reason ...
There is a reason ... I left my job in January.
There is a reason ... I volunteer my nursing skills to help others.
There is a reason ... I haven't received a paycheck in a long time.
There is a reason ... I won't see my family for nearly ten months.
There is a reason ... I live in a small cabin with five other girls.
There is a reason ... I am here and I want to share it with you.

They are the reason ...

 

I just wanted to share my heart and brighen your day with the smiling faces that light up world. I will be volunteering here on the Africa Mercy for the next five months and I pay to be here. All I want for Christmas is to be able to stay here to meet more smiling faces. If you are interested in finding out more visit my donor page at  http://mercyships-us.donorpages.com/crewmates/KariGriffis/ Merry Christmas!

Joyeux Noel

A few years ago a friend told me that he could see me walking down a road surrounded by little brown children. I laughed it off, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think it would come true. For the past two and a half years has been an unknown dream realized. Growing up I really didn't think I would leave the state of Georgia none the less go all the way to Africa ... Three times! God has blessed me beyond imagination, giving me a life that far surpassed my dreams. Being the holiday season I've been thinking about what I am thankful for this year.

My job. I get to work in the coolest hospital in the world. Like seriously, no other hospital like it.

Making life-long friends with people from all around the world. I haves group of girls that are more than friends, they are the best sisters I could ask for on the ship.

Perfume and nail polish. I know, I know material things, but I've recently acquired both through friends and it just gives you a big confidence boost.

Wi-Fi ... In Africa!

Pecan pie ... Crazy right!? But when you have been here long enough, a little slice of home is amazing.

Just the beginning of a long list of things that I will compile over the next couple weeks, months and years. I challenge you today to think about what are you thankful for? What unrealized dreams have come to pass? 

Joyeux Noel! 

Manna

Manna - the food miraculously supplies to the Israelites in the wilderness (Exodus 16:14-36)

We have something with a similar name here on the ship. MANA (mother administered nutritive aid) is given to patients who are malnourished or need an extra boost to heal. It’s kind of like really sweet peanut butter … yes I’ve tasted it. Though I’ve been handing these little packets of goodness out for two years it wasn’t until recently that I saw something on the back of the package. It reads … Manufactured by MANA nutrition, Fitzgerald GA. How crazy is that!? I’m not the only thing from Georgia over here in Africa. I’m serving these patients good old Georgia peanuts. I just wanted to thank all of the hard working farmers back at home who work day in and day out growing peanuts. It may not seem like you do much when you are riding on your tractor every day, coming home dirty and sunburned. You are literally saving lives and I for one am so thankful. Each of these little packets has 500 calories of nutritional support. I have seen starving children grow stronger. I looked it up on their website www.mananutrition.org, right here and right now on the Africa Mercy is not the only place you make a difference.

These packets literally are manna from heaven, sent to save lives. Pass this on and share this with your favorite farmer, let them know they make a difference.

What is beauty?

Beauty: the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound,, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of beautiful? A friend that is just gorgeous or maybe your children. Those are beautiful, but I wanted to share a story of beauty. It isn't the conventional beauty, when you first look you may even want to avert your eyes just because it is painful to see. Look beyond the scars.

The three words all little girls (and grown women too) want to hear .... "You are beautiful." How many of you have longed for those words when you are having a bad day and just aren't feeling very pretty? No matter where you go we are all the same, we crave affirmation. So is the story of Alice, a young girl from Uganda. Alice was very badly burned in a house fire leaving her with scars to her head, face and neck. With the help of a Ugandan veterinarian she was able to come to the ship. Alice has been with us from the very beginning. First as she waited for our hospitality center to open and now after her first of many surgeries. Alice has always been a little different from the other girls on the ward, maybe it is because she has no hair, or maybe it's because she doesn't speak French, but most shifts she sits on her bed quietly coloring with her Papa. But yesterday something else happened. When I came onto the ward yesterday she was happier and generally just more playful. She was walking around the ward with a big pink bow on her head bandage. One of my friends and co-workers told me why the change. I don't want to steal Natalie's story because there is power and emotion in her telling (I'll share a link when she tells it). But here is the most important part, after her dressing change Natalie handed her a mirror and she spotted the pink bow Natalie had secretly place on her head. She immediately giggled and couldn't stop smiling, she walked around the ward showing it off and receiving the affirmation of  "Beautiful" or "Jolie" in French. When I arrived hours later she was still beaming. She had been an outcast for so long but that one pink bow made all the difference. This right here is why I love this job.  It gives a whole new meaning to beauty out of ashes!

What is Your Name?

The question I am asked at least once a week, "What is your name?" The answer is Kari (pronounced like carry). With a ward full of children the response back is never the same. One such conversation started weeks ago with a teenage girl name Glore. She is one of our plastic patients being treated for a burn contracture. Because of the site of her contractures she has to wear an airplane splint. Imagine you are holding your arms out pretending your an airplane. Yep, that's what it looks like. Glore is 100% teenager complete with attitude and eye rolls. Needless to say I have to remind her at least once a shift to put her splint on. Glore and her gang of little minions (complete with a little boy named Mignon) definitely made our evening shifts interesting. There was a night where we weren't sure we wouldn't leave the ward for fear of a mutiny. They were going to take over! She is the reason for my insanity some nights but I love her so much. Why? Beneath all that drama there is a girl who loves so deeply and wants to learn so much. She sits beside me sometimes and just asks how to say things is English. Hair, earring and glasses are her favorite words to try to recite. In the process she is teaching me a small amount of French. I now know how to say "lay down" in French, which has come in very handy with the rambunctious little ones. She has also taught all of the other children how to pronounce my name ... I am now officially Kiwi. I wanted to share some photos of the people who call me Kiwi.


Jennica with two of our favorite girls!

Beautiful Glore with one of our nurses Betsy

As you can see lots of fun and energy!



Meet Graci ... she is adorable and has the most infectious laugh! She loves to give kisses and hold your face.

Don't let those dimples fool you, he is adorable and he knows it. He gets away with alot because of it!

Trusting is uncomfortable

God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are afraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through. 

I am currently reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. I've read it a couple times before but I have been in a different place in my life each time. I just read the quote above this morning and it really resonated with me. That is exactly where I am right now, trusting and waiting for Him to come through. It isn't comfortable! It's quite scary not knowing what not only the future but next month will hold. There are several promises I am trusting God with, one being providing funds for this trip. Without his provision I could not be here. I know some of you think that I am such an amazing woman, living my life devoted to helping others. One of my friends put is best, she said Actually I am a horrible person who is loved and forgiven by an amazing God. I have certainly done things I am not at all proud of, but you know what God loves me just the same. He also loves you.

When you pray, your prayers are heard by the same God who 

answered Moses' prayer for water in the desert, the God who gave Abraham 

and his barren wife a son, and the God who made the slave Joseph 

second in power only to Pharoah.

He wants to give you big things. I just wanted to share my heart and challenge you to trust God for the big things. It's not comfortable but He has always come through. I hope this was as much an encouragement for you as it was for me. 

The right attitude

So here's the dealio ... I've been assigned to work on the General surgery ward. It wasn't my first pick, just being honest. One of my first thoughts involved, hmmmm .... Let's just say ice. Ice packs for male hernia patients. You ship alumni know what I'm talking about. Not my favorite part of general surgery. I miss the little cleft lip babies and the huge transformation that happens when a tumor is removed. I absolutely love seeing someone feel beautiful and accepted for the first time.

I kept sulking and pouting about it but then yesterday I realized something. This whole time I have been thinking about what I get out of it and not how I can serve others. Not very Christ-like huh? Yeah, I felt pretty guilty. One of my friends mentioned that every surgery here is transformational. It's so hard to think about the transformation when you don't see the facial tumors gone or bent legs straightened. It so true though, for those men and young boys the hernias are hindering their day to day lives. Maybe they are unable to work anymore or play football with their friends. It must be hard.

So as I work in the General surgery ward I want to keep a good attitude that I would make my Heavenly Father proud. I will show these patients the love and acceptance they deserve and maybe, just maybe I will have a transformation as well.

Yes or No

We, as the Mercy Ships crew, had our Congo field service patient selection yesterday. This is a time where we choose the patients that we receive surgeries. We are told that approximately seven thousand people came to the patient selection, five thousand of those seeking surgical care. I was a part of the pre-screening team, which means we were the first people the prospective patient came to as they walked through the gate. We made the initial decision of "yes" or "no" to thin out the crowd seeing the surgeons. Though we will be able to help a lot of people, we cannot help them all. 

I'm not really sure what to name this post or even how to explain what I'm trying to say here. Now that I have experienced my first patient selection, there are so many conflicting emotions I am processing. Exuberant joy for the patients that we will be able to provide hope and healing for versus sadness and a prayerful burden for the patients we turned away. One of my fellow crew mates and friends loves to use a certain system to learn about another's day. It involves highs (the good) and lows (the bad). I feel like this is the easiest way to communicate my day. Let's start with the lows so we end on a happy note!

Low

By the end of the day we had filled up most of our surgery spots. We only have a set of number  of available patient spots that surgeons can perform operations on. With those spots filled we had the very hard task of telling patients "No, we cannot help you." Some were quite understanding and surprisingly peaceful about it, but others you could see the shock on their faces. To be offered hope and then find out they were too late. I can only imagine the hurt and confusion they felt and continue to feel now.

There were a large number of people who came that we just don't do that particular surgery or provide that medical need. Examples would be cerebral palsy, shoulder dystocia, arthritis and abdominal pain.

High

Having someone walk up to me and automatically knowing just by seeing them that they get one of the special laminated cards that allows them one step closer to their healing. For example a healthy cleft lip child or a child with bowed legs.

Seeing crew that do not normally work in the hospital rise to the occasion to help people by going the extra mile. The event that touched my heart the most was this ... There was a momma who brought her child to us. I estimate she was preteen perhaps. I knew the moment I looked at her what was going on. Once you've been a nurse for a while, you can just look into someone's eyes and know that something isn't quite right. I saw her deep brown eyes and the blank stare, the contracted and rigid limbs. I was told she had grown weaker and weaker and had never walked or talked. Her daughter has severe cerebral palsy. I think she knew that there was nothing we could do but as a mother held that hope deep down inside that maybe, just maybe we could help. I told her as a surgical hospital we could not help. I offered to have someone prayer for her and her daughter. She gracefully accepted this, gathered her daughter up and walked away. Along the way I saw something that touched my heart. Along the way one of my fellow crew mates, a dentist took her from her mother's arms and carried the daughter. A while later another one, a finance worker took over and carried her to the prayer station. Just for those  ten minutes she was not under the weight of her daughter. I'm sure that from the time her daughter was a tiny baby she has carried her on her back in traditional African fashion. Every year she would grow bigger but her mother just carried her along. Caring and loving her every step of the way. But for that ten minutes she could walk freely and have a small, small rest. 

These are just a few if the things I witnessed or felt in the thirteen hours I stood behind that gate speaking with potential patients. I am so excited for all the "yes" patients. I'm sure that I will have many stories our their time with us and the amazing people that they are. Through feeling the pain and sadness in every "no" it reminded me to continually pray and believe that God can work miracles in their lives. He is the great healer and who am I to limit his power? Will you pray with me that they will come to know his love and be healed by it. 

If you would like to see some my awesome friend's perspective of the day follow the links below. They really touched my heart. Believe me you need to read their blogs, they are amazing!

Ali - http://alirae.net/blog/archives/731-today-and-tomorrow-and-forever.html

Deb - http://debsheartinafrica.blogspot.com/2013/08/my-one.html?spref=fb

Selection Day

Selection day ... The day we either make people's hope and dreams come true or give them sad news. There's no way to tell how many people will come, but we are expecting hundreds. We have already heard that they are lining up in preparation to be seen. As this day quickly approaches it has got me thinking ... How can I best serve these people? I've been assigned the task of screening the patients. I will be one of the first people they come in contact with. Essentially I am the first yes or no. "Yes you can see the surgeon for his opinion" or "Sorry, but we cannot help you." I'm a little wary of the day. My biggest hope is that even in the sad times, when I can't give them the opportunity to have surgical healing, I can at least look them in the eyes and smile. Maybe share a little of my joy with them and lead them to a group of designated people who can ask God, the ultimate healer to step into their lives. I'm asking that all of you that read this blog just stop right now and just say a little prayer for my team and the African people we come in contact with. I've seen God work miracles on the ship before. I am believing that he can do it again! Thanks and I will update you on the day soon!