How?

I've been home a few days now and there is always that one question "How was Africa?". How do you squeeze three countries into one answer. How do I explain the people I've met, the children I've fallen in love with, the pain of leaving them behind? How do I explain the adventures I've gone on with amazing life long friends from all over the world?

 I don't think there are words to describe it. The only way I know how to share the amazing, life-changing journey I've been on over the past three years is to show you through my lens (or the lens of a friend). If you have ten spare minutes to watch I'm sure you will at least enjoy the adorable children! Thank you everyone for all of your prayers and support over my journey. I am forever grateful. Click the link below.

Through the camera lens

Perfect

Ten fingers and ten toes. It makes you think of babies and the epitome of perfection, no? Of course it does, but I had a moment tonight when I reevaluated this thought.

I'm working night shifts this weekend and usually at some point during the night one of the patients can't sleep and joins you in whatever you are doing to entertain yourself. Tonight that patient was a three year old with congenital deformities to his hand and abdomen. I heard him whimpering so I went and picked him up and carried him and his huge IV pole back to the desk where I was watching a movie. Together we watched Monster University (if you know me, you know that yes I was watching a kid's movie before I picked up a small child!). He was pretty chill, not cracking a smile or laugh the whole entire time.

At the end of the movie he was still wide awake so we decided on a double feature with the next movie being Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Towards the end his head was bobbing and I knew it wouldn't be long. Gently he placed his hand on my hand and fell asleep. I just sat there staring at his tiny brown hand on my larger white hand, I was overcome. I slowly closed my eyes and soaked up the moment, thanking God for another amazing memory. It was in the that moment that I realized that this little boy is perfect, even if he does not have what the world considers perfection. Often at home or even here on the streets we see people who look different and automatically assume, "That's weird." But looking at this beautiful child all I could think was how God saw him, perfect just the way God formed him.

As I prepare to leave the ship in the coming weeks, moments like this make me appreciate where God has led me. From a small town girl with no world knowledge and honestly a pretty judgemental attitude about people different than me to this. I think I like this new and improved outlook. Perfect moments come in all shapes and sizes. I'm going to cherish and soak up every one I get in the time I have left.

I called you out upon the waters

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise my soul will rest in your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and you won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

 

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong.

After listening to a friend sing this song in a worship service recently I realized that this song is my daily life! Is this not what God has been doing over the past three years to test my faith? Kari, will you step out of the boat ... to the unknown? I think the line that hit me the most was "you've never failed me and you won't start now". I started to reminisce on the fact that God has orchestrated my every step and will continue to in the future. Then it hit me, he orchestrates the steps of every single person I come in contact with. A face immediately came to mind. The face of a beautiful young woman named Angelique.

Angelique definitely hasn't had it easy. Over the past several years she has had a tumor on her face that has been slowly killing her bit by bit. She lost weight and became severely malnourished. I first met Angelique, many months ago, when I stopped by D ward looking for a supply and a little boy was running like a wild man around the ward. I later found out that he belonged to the tiny lady in a bed to my left. The tiny lady that covers her face with a cloth, barely (if even) sixty-five pounds, she knows ... you can see it in her eyes, without our help she will die.

The plan was to keep Angelique in the hospital for a matter of time and "fatten her up" with nutritional supplements and a lot of love. But it just wasn't working fast enough, the tumor was going to suffocate her before she was at a healthy weight. The decision was made to go ahead with the surgery and pray for the best.

 

The Lord nurses them when they are sick and restores them to health.

- Psalm 41:3

 

She survived the surgery but was not out of the woods yet. Because of her malnutrition her wounds had a very hard time healing. It took several months of continued nutrition, antibiotics, wound care and of course a lot of love/encouragement before she started to turn a corner.

 

After her first surgery.

 

First look at the new face.

 

 

My friend Amy (featured in the photo above) told me about one particular moment that really touched my heart. Amy and Angelique were sitting on the deck getting some fresh air and Angelique started giggling. She would bounce her leg then giggle. Amy suddenly realized what was so funny. For the first time, in a very long time, Angelique had a little jiggle in her leg when she bounced it. Over and over she would bounce and giggle. I wasn't there, but I can only imagine how adorable this interaction was. All over the world women worry about a little extra jiggle here or there but here, nope it's cause for celebration! Another need for celebration ... new hair! One of my favorite things to do when I see Angelique is play with her new hair. Because she now has nutrition she has new super soft, beautiful curly hair. She giggles whenever I rub her head, which in turn of course makes me giggle. Yep, it's pretty adorable.

 

I'm not the only one that loves her new hair.

 

Back to the point, the other day when I was singing those beautiful Hillsong lyrics and had the thought of Angelique it also came with a word. Pray! Like right now ... with her. To say this is something new for me is an understatement. God was calling me out upon the waters, the great unknown. Pray for Angelique, pray for healing from a tumor that will return and claim her life. Yes, we were able to remove most of the tumor this time, but it was just buying time for her to spend with her two babies. It will return and will most likely take her life. So what did I do? I walked down the stairs to the ward of course. Do you know how bad it feels in your gut to hear God tell you to do something and not do it. Cest par bon (it's not good)! Immediately when I walked in we saw each other, she smiled and said "Bonjour!". I asked if I could pray for her, she enthusiastically nodded her head and immediately closed her eyes. This made me giggle a little, okay then here we go. It was a simple prayer just asking God to heal her and send her back home to her family whole and healthy. I opened my eyes before saying Amen and she looked so peaceful and beautiful. I said Amen and she immediately enveloped me in her arms and said "Merci". Yep, I could have cried right there. I spent a few more moments with her and then left her to get some rest.

 

Yesterday I attended the church service in the wards. As soon as I walked in I spotted her, but she looked different. No more NG tube to drip nutrients into her stomach, no more bandages, as I looked at her I was taken aback by how beautiful and "normal" she looked. Her cheeks have filled about a bit and there is an always present sparkle in her eyes now. She may not have physical healing yet, but through this whole process I can tell you that she definitely received emotional healing, she will go home whole and alive to care for her children.

 

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters"

Will you join me in trusting that God can completely heal Angelique physically?

 





The smile in her eyes

I'm sorry I haven't shared more patient stories lately, but you get so wrapped up in taking care of the same long term patients and forget to share the special moments sometimes. Today I had a really special day (besides the fact that it is my birthday). I want to share the story of one of my favorite girl. Her name is Benjamine, she is thirteen years old. Much like a patient I took care of in Guinea (Tia's story) , she sustained burns to her upper chest and both arms. Because of the burns and not having the medical care she needed Benjamine had contractures (or tight scar tissue) to her neck, elbows and axilla. I remember seeing her on the first day of plastics. It was before her surgery and though she is one of those cases that most people can't bear to see there was a smile in her eyes and an infectious laugh that I just couldn't resist.

Before surgery

 After surgery she was placed on the Plastics ward, and being that I am on the General ward I didn't see her as much. But I do know this, she had a hard time post-operatively. Alot of pain and complications. After weeks of care from the amazing plastics team, she was able to get up, walk and even go outside for the first time. Little by little she was improving.

 

Over the past three months we have begun to see her home out of her shell even more. One of her favorite activities these days is trying to tickle me or hiding behind a door and jumping out to try to scare me. She is also trying to teach me the words of the song Frere Jacques ... in French and her language of Lingala. Though I did learn this song once upon a time, in kindergarten, I have forgotten it and most likely did not pronuciate it correctly. She thinks it is hilarious to hear me murder the French and Lingala.

 

 A few weeks ago I was walking down the stairs from the dining room back to the ward and I heard a little voice. The little voice said my name, I looked down and sitting at the bottom of the stairs was Benjamine. To hear a patient say your name for the first time is one of the sweetest things, especially if they did not talk for a very long time. This evening I sat with Benjamine outside on the deck, just soaking in a little sunshine and fresh air. One of the other nurses whispered something in her ear and then she gave me my very best birthday present. It all started while we were having a thumb war, there just happened to be a videographer near by to capture it! One, two, three, four I declare a thumb war..

Random Acts of Kindness

I'm sure you have all heard of random acts of kindness. Maybe you paid for the car behind you in the drive through or left a big tip at a restaurant. But I've always been on the giving side. Today I've been overwhelmed with the kindness of others. It started with a large amount of extra money being in my bank account that I had no idea was there. You see anonymously over the past months fellow crew members have been putting money in there and never telling me. Yeah, I know some pretty awesome people.
Just now, as I was baking some granola, I came across this website featured on Pinterest .Faith in Humanity Restored. Needless to say my already tenderized heart was sincerely touched. My birthday is tomorrow and I have a favor to ask you. For my birthday will you be kind to someone, buy them a coffee, write them a unexpected note of encouragement or give them a hug. Thanks!!

Whatever.

Today has been an amazing day filled with quiet time at the beach and Godly council from a pair women (who just happen to Georgian) that I really admire. After all of this I really didn't feel like I could sit in the usual Sunday night church service so I decided to go upstairs to the top deck of the ship and just let things marinate in my head for a while.

In a little over two months from now I will be leaving the Africa Mercy and traveling home to Georgia to start over. I have no attachments to anywhere in particular and looking forward to a brand new adventure. Because of this I thought I should maybe pray about the future, quite unexpectedly the first words out of my mouth ... "Lord ... Whatever." Whoa! Wait? What? Whatever!? That's some scary crap right there! Whatever the Lord wants to do with me, that's okay? I had to check myself a little there. Okay, okay I had to check myself a lot. Do you really mean what you say? Because I have a sneaking suspicion it might be a crazy/wild adventure. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry not only because it is totally unknown, but because I know God has a big plan for me. I mean seriously he sent this little country girl all the way to Africa ... Three times!

{Deep breath} Okay, yes, if I want to be a completely abandoned follower of Jesus the answer has to be "Yes " ... whatever/wherever/whenever/whoever. I have absolutely no idea what I am signing up for here, but no one does I guess. Saying yes to Jesus is all or nothing. Completely abandoned to you! You have paved the way. Prepare for lift-off this is going to be a crazy ride! Will this be 100% without confusion, doubts or even possible heartache. No, life never is. Please Lord forgive my misgivings, you know my heart. Where you lead I will follow.

I don't want you to misunderstand this, does it make me an awesome Christian because I'm saying yes to God. Am I looking for applause or praise. No, I'm most definitely not a perfect person or anywhere near it. I'm a terrible sinner who Jesus was gracious enough to die for my sins. You could say yes as well. So I have a one word challenge for your ... Whatever?

Then I heard The Lord asking, "Whom shall I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?" I said, "Here I am. Send me." 

- Isaiah 6:8

All You Need is Love ...

Or so the song says. There is a little boy on my ward that has an un-curable disease. He is doing great and it won't kill him today or tomorrow, but the odds are against him. Simply because he doesn't live in a first world country. Because of this I've found myself giving him extra attention lately. Playing games with him, holding him when he hurts or dancing around to make him laugh. He really likes to simply sit and just spend time with me. For some reason I'm quite popular with little boys, if only I was as popular with boys my own age ;) Throughout my shift as a charge nurse there is bound to be at least one little boy sitting beside me. Sometimes coloring or sometimes playing with a balloon (aka chewing on it, which they know is a no, no).

 As I lay in my bed all I can think about is how excited I am to go spend time with the boys tomorrow at "work". I am blessed to love on kids that maybe don't feel healthy or perhaps even worthy of love. A little expression of love can make all the difference in the world. A smile, a greeting, holding their hand, a hug, a back rub, or just simply sitting together not saying a word can move mountains. I can't even count how many times a patient has simply sat beside me and just put a hand on my shoulder or arm just to know I am right there beside them. Walking with them along their journey. I am so blessed to be a part of that journey, thank you for helping me along the way through prayers and support. Give love abundantly today, you don't have to be in Africa to make a difference!!